The meaning of love...

The beating of my broken heart now chained and locked away.
I hear much louder, through the night than words we never say.
As hollow kisses turn to dust and fall against my skin,
I pray that I might find the strength to fall in love again.
Abandoned silence. Stripped away, discarded on the floor.
In the dirt, I bury hope that love leaves unlocked doors.
I am held, though never cherished, yet to be made whole.
My tears can wipe themselves away, but I must save my soul.
Bare feet, run, take me home where I am mother’s child,
And toward the pale rose sunset for a pretty little while.
If broken wings may carry me home, carry dreams, and carry me to sleep,
Take me far away from love and tell me what it means.

If You Can...

If you can look past what it's worth, look past the disasters
And dream about their smiles and laughter's
If you can trust and confess that there are no regrets
You see the sad shadow disappear and you will not forget
If you can not let go of everything and have that scar in your broken heart
There is no end, its endless, something will fall apart
If you can give memories and engrave the faces in your head
And forgive everything that was said

If you can forever continue to see always to replace the emptiness
Or lost amongst all the addictions and chaos, it is waiting somewhere,
You will dare to forever care
If you can doubt not knowing the truth but are willing to meet them
And as time passes, the lies you believed will fade
Just waiting for happiness and love, your feelings will change
If you can think about what you've learned, hate and death
Or think about your wishes and dreams while taking your last breath

If you can watch and hear the evil, bad and good
But can't seem to remember where it once stood
And never had the chance to walk the ground
But in another way, things for you are better than most deep down
If you can believe in faith and your life and see
The beginning of you, who you will be and more than they ever thought you could be
If you can get through your loss and be alone
But know that they will always be next to you at home

If you can see the world as it is and hope that one day it will be easier
If you can see more than all the ways we hurt, love , hate, strive, the slowly dying
Or the secrets still unwritten even if you never stopped trying
If you can clearly see that it's more than, fear, defeat, the beauty of the changing seasons
And jealous or weakness for all the reasons
If you can take the chances to promise and forgive
The wrongs that no one is paying attention to live
Or the last words of insecure goodbyes, you are not perfect, you are life and human

Can't Stand It?

No I can’t stand it. I can NOT stand being that girl that he just talks to as if she’s just another part of his mind. I can’t stand being so insignificant and tiny. It’s putting my emotions down. I can’t just be friends with this guy. He’s my best friend and nothing more .I can’t seem to tell myself that. He is hopelessly searching for the one girl who can meet certain criteria. Every time he mentions all the things his girlfriend needs to be my heart is screaming “That’s me!!!....but I guess I am too obvious of a choice you can try all the others, get hurt, and then come back ‘round to me.” I can’t stand not being able to be honest with you. I want to stop making up romantic interests for you to believe that I don’t love you. Even though I know that you will always be there for me, it’s not enough. Not enough for my heart to remain stable every time I see you. Do you not get that I need you right now? I understand your current situation: still broken from a love that you wish still existed or was at least reciprocated. I WANT to make you feel better. I KNOW that no one could ever live up to your first love. But I would do my best to keep you happy. I would NEVER break your heart, hurt you, or shy away from you. Knowing you like I do, I admire your strength. “Strength in what” you ask me. Your strength in every situation that life has put you through is commendable. Life has been the biggest bitch to everyone but especially you. But since you don’t know the powers of your strength let me tell you what you have accomplished. You have been loved and used. You have been stabbed in the heart ruthlessly as if with an icicle on a cold winter day. I never knew that I could like someone with this much force behind it. Every time I tell my mind to forget it because you are out of my league, it stubbornly refuses me and says “No I will not rest until he knows how I feel about him.” But it IS supposed to be “Mind over matter” right? Supposing that it IS. What would my next move be? You would tell me to talk to the guy but you wouldn’t know that it was you. So I wouldn’t be able to say “I’m talking to him right now” or else you would figure out and it would be really awkward. SO here is where I try ending this conversation before I slip up and give it away that the person that I strongly like is you. Then we refocus onto your life. And from there it normally drifts over onto your love life. That’s normally where it starts getting really awkward for me to be giving you advice. Because I am basically helping you get with another girl that’s not me. But still even if you don’t love me back as a best friend it’s my duty to help you through life’s worst situations and watch you shine at your best moments. So the last thing to say is:
I Love You

Charles Swindoll

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes. "
-Very Wise Kid <3

Forgive and Forget.. :/

Forgive and forget. That's what they say. It's pretty good advice, but it's not practical. When someone hurts us, we want to hurt them back. When someone wrongs us, we want to be right. Without forgiveness old scores never settle. Old wounds never heal, and the most we can hope for is that someday we'll be lucky enough to forget

Interesting? I think So....

Well then, GO SLUTS! You guys will be the last ones on the planet when we all die from breast cancer! Keep on sucking!

To be or not to be....happy?

Do you ever just get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? you don't want to smile, and you don't want to fake being happy. but at the same time, you don't know exactly what is wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. people have stopped being comforting... and being alone never was. At least when you're alone no one constantly asks you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who wont take 'i don't know' for an answer. You feel the way you do just BECAUSE. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.......

Thank You.

As corny and Hallmark-y as this is going to sound, I am just finally understanding that when you choose to let peple into your life, you accept the bad and the good. I guess you've just got to deal with it, because you can't spend the rest of your life being isolated. Just remember that everyone, no matter who they are, manages to leave a mark on your life. They make you who you are. Thank them. -Christina Treco

To Make or Not to Make?

Okay, so, sometimes, even the best of us make rash decisions, bad decisions, decisions we pretty much know we're regret the moment, the minute....especially the morning after. I mean, maybe not regret.... regret, because at least we put ourselves out there. But still, something inside of us decides to do a crazy thing, a thing we know that will probably bite us in the ass, but we do it anyway. What I am saying is, we reap what we sew. What comes around goes around. Like I was saying... payback is a bitch.

Intriguing Question (:

If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character... Would you slow down? Or speed up? .......

Through Shattered Eyes...

I hear the silence, I taste the years
The echoes of guilt will haunt my years
The empty nothing, I know the pain
As it fills my soul I feel the shame.

I see my clothes fall to the floor
His breath on my face as he locks the door
I feel his touch upon my naked skin
Trying to push him away, but he enters in

I see the world through different eyes
As he lays there a part of me dies.
And I feel his touch upon me again
Though I ask him to stop he takes me again

I hear him shower in the next room
Happily singing his favourite tune.
While I lay on my bed in a tattered mess
My innocence lost I feel the abyss.

I see him smile and give me a kiss
As he says he remembers it was as good as this.
I see his clothes with mine on the floor
As I feel his touch on me once more.

I taste the tears of my shattered pain
As he raped me over and over again,
I hear him profess his love for me
As I cringe at the feel of his touch on me.

I Feel him lay there by my side
His hands on me and my pain inside,
The tears I cry reflect my shame
As I realize things won't be the same.

I tell a friend I see him stare
His disbelief cannot compare
To the violation of my trust
The night my family member took me in lust.

I hear the truth twisted into lies
My secret shame before my eyes
Of all those who were my supposed friends
Their compassion was only just pretend.

I will not ever be the same
As i see him walk beyond my pain,
He was not punished I let him go
The shame he gave me he'll never know.....

My Best Friend....

Today I found a friend,
Who knew everything I felt.
He knew my every weakness,
And the problems I've been dealt.
He understood my wonders,
And listened to my dreams.
He listened to how I felt about life and love,
And knew what it all means.

Not once did he interrupt me,
Or tell me I was wrong.
He understood what I was going through,
And promised he'd stay long,
I reached out to this friend
To show him that i care
To pull him close and let him know
How much I need him there
<3333

One girl.....

One girl looking out her window
One boy walking down the street
He didn't know it at the time
But when she saw him her heart skipped a beat.

One girl playing outside
One boy doing the same
He didn't know it at the time
But she wanted to find out his name.

One girl getting hurt by many boys
One boy mending her heart
He didn't know it at the time
But she loved only him from the start.

One girl standing outside
One boy asking her out
He didn't know it at the time
But she never had any doubts.

One girl loving a boy
One boy loving a girl
He didn't know it at the time
But he was her world.

One girl's heart breaks
One boy moves on
He didn't know it at the time
But her love for him wasn't done.

One girl tries to win him back
One boy doesn't care
He didn't know it at the time
But she wouldn't always be there.

One girl leaves for college
One boy stays where he's at
He didn't know it at the time
But her heart was breaking in half.

One girl's heart is missing
One boy has it you see
He doesn't know it right now
But the two of them are meant to be.....
-KattyBoo

Just a Saturday

As I sit here watching the clouds pass me by, the sunshine beats upon my car window.
As I sit here thinking about life and all its possibilities, its regrets, and failures also make themselves known. Those things that I thought were behind me appear once again, but as a larger hurdle.
“Just try to forget about it.”
Those are the words that are spoken to me by whomever I go to advice for.
But it’s not that simple (Easier said than done).
When something happens to you and you want to forget about it, you may succeed at first.
But then later it will make a vicious circle and become a part of your being once more.
And this time it won’t leave you.
“Come on and smile please.”
It’s what my friends tell me to do.
For their sake, and only for them, I do.
However, it’s not real. It’s a fake smile, a huge barrier that I am putting up, a divider separating two very different people.
The me that I don’t want anyone to see and the me that people want to see.
As I sit here watching the clouds pass me by, I think about life and its complications.

Just The Beginning? Or the End?

Bella was overly hesitant to talk to Shawn because of two reason which I don't blame her for having. The very first being that my family was very loud. Trust me, like louder than Cubans would still be an understatement. The second being that my family or parents were very nosy and tended to pick up the phone mid-conversation just to tell me something insignificant.

You may think that its not that bad, but trust me. They would ruin me with Shawn because they had the tendency to say my name quite a lot. and if you remember correctly, Shawn never knew my real name. I was Katrina Kaif remember?.....