Just a Saturday

As I sit here watching the clouds pass me by, the sunshine beats upon my car window.
As I sit here thinking about life and all its possibilities, its regrets, and failures also make themselves known. Those things that I thought were behind me appear once again, but as a larger hurdle.
“Just try to forget about it.”
Those are the words that are spoken to me by whomever I go to advice for.
But it’s not that simple (Easier said than done).
When something happens to you and you want to forget about it, you may succeed at first.
But then later it will make a vicious circle and become a part of your being once more.
And this time it won’t leave you.
“Come on and smile please.”
It’s what my friends tell me to do.
For their sake, and only for them, I do.
However, it’s not real. It’s a fake smile, a huge barrier that I am putting up, a divider separating two very different people.
The me that I don’t want anyone to see and the me that people want to see.
As I sit here watching the clouds pass me by, I think about life and its complications.